Location: INT. ORPHANAGE STAIRWAY - DAY
It is pitch black except for full doorway's light at the too, (vaguely reminiscent of Psycho). Suddenly, a full, husky silhouette fills the light. Jake and Elwood freeze.VOICE: Who is it?
JAKE: Jake and Elwood.
SISTER MARY: Come in.
Location: SISTER MARY'S P.O.V. - JAKE AND ELWOOD
They stand just inside the doorway. Elwood shifts uneasily - from one foot to the other. Jake is slouching, his hands in his pockets, hat pulled low. They look like two aimless, shambling hoods.
SISTER MARY: Hello, boys, nice to see you. Please have a seat.
The door closes. Jake casts a darting glance around the room for chairs. There are no chairs except for the few one-piece, grade-school writing desks against one wall. They shuffle over and each squeezes into a desk.
SISTER MARY: No, no, boys, come over here in front of me...I want to see your faces
Elwood gets up and grudgingly carries his desk over in front of Sister Mary. Jake attempts to do the same, however, after several tries, he is unable to extricate his bulk from the small desk. He is stuck. He pulls and scrapes himself across the floor, positioning himself next to Elwood. The boys look like midgets, pressed into little desks.
SISTER MARY: The county did a tax assessment on this property last month.
They want $5000. Elwood: doesn't the church have to pay that? They would if they were interested in keeping the place, but they aren't. The archbishop wants to sell this building to the board of education.
ELWOOD: what's gonna to happen to you?
SISTER MARY: I'll be sent to the missions, Africa. Latin America. Korea.
JAKE: Forget it. Five grand... no problem. We'll have it for you tomorrow morning ... Let's go Elwood.
She slams the ruler down hard.SISTER MARY: No! ... No!....I will not take your filthy stolen money….
JAKE: Well ... then, I guess you're really up Shit Creek.
Sister Mary wells up, towering with rage. She begins swatting him on the arm with a ruler
SISTER MARY: I beg your pardon...what did you say?
JAKE: I offered to help you. And you refuse to take our money, I said I guess you're really up Shit Creek.
She swats him again.ELWOOD: Christ, Jake, take it easy.
She backhands Elwood with the ruler.SISTER MARY: Elwood!
She cracks him on the knuckles.ELWOOD: Ow, shit!
She swats him again on the back of his head.ELWOOD: Oww, ya fat penguin!
This incenses Sister Mary Stigmata. She beats them both. A crack to the back of Jake's head and a backhand slash to Elwood with the ruler. She has the precision and concentration of a martial artist. She wields the ruler two-handed like Kendo sword. She lands a series of blows on Elwood. He jumps out of the desk, runs to the door, opens it and runs downstairs. Jake is still wedged
Location: INT. DORMITORY - BOTTOM OF STAIRS
Jake and the desk hurtle, as a unit, from the room, stairs (taking out bits of the wall), splinter the crash into a row of beds. Sister Mary emerges and over Jake and Elwood. Jake painfully extricates the shattered desk.SISTER MARY: You are such a disappointing pair. I prayed so much for you. It saddens and hurts me that two young men whom I raised to believe in The Ten Commandments should return to me as two thieves with filthy mouths and bad attitudes. Get, out and don't come back until you've redeemed yourselves.